Friday, September 30, 2011

Where on the #56 Vermonter Amtrak to Springfield a woman says into her cellphone, "OK, first read me the first four press E...yes, yes... OK, next...huh, well, let's just make this simple, do you see how on the upper right hand side there's a picture of a house... yes, yes... Ok...well, call me anytime."

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Where at Deli 94 on Amsterdam avenue they are selling flowers that look like testicles crossbred with prickly pears.

Monday, September 26, 2011

Where as they boarded the 96th Street crosstown bus a man said to a woman, "I bet SHE go to H.C.!" and the woman said, "That a damn STUCK UP church!"

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Where, after going to the new location of the Momofuku Milkbar on the Upper West Side and eating a strawberry soft serve ice cream and half a compost cookie, a man says to his family, "I mean I'm glad it opened but it doesn't really solve all my problems."

Saturday, September 24, 2011

Where at Mani Market an elderly man with a walker cuts in front of a woman who has six people standing in line behind her and no one says anything.

Friday, September 23, 2011

Where on the corner of 96th and Amsterdam a small boy runs out into the intersection and his mother runs after him and grabs him back while another mother standing next to them screams, "OH MY GOD!!!" and a third mother, watching from across the street bursts into tears even though, by then, the boy is safe.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Where in the Advanced Undergraduate Poetry Workshop the writing is on the wall.

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Where there is too much noise inside and out.

Where Canal street separates pasta from bok choy.

Where, looking at her three sons, a woman literally and figuratively sees her own reflection.

Where the emphatic enthusiasm of the CVS sign seems somewhat misplaced.

Where a guitarist uses three Star Wars Clone Wars books and one Superman book to hold down his notes as he strums along with the story about a you girl with a fairy skip rope who skips as never so.

Where an Upper East Side man waiting for the bus on Madison avenue is dressed to the nines.

Monday, September 12, 2011

Where, at Hampton Chutney restaurant, a woman eying a mother with twin girls, admonishes her son who is sitting in the window seat bludgeoning stuffed animals, "Remember Roofus, GIRLS don't like killing!"

Friday, September 9, 2011

Where at the farmer's market on 97th street the indoor-outdoor plant seller had only one Money Tree left for the season, and it was a frail, scrawny specimen.

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Where a woman tells her son to get his school bag ready for the first day of school and finds upon inspecting his very heavy backpack that in addition to five binders he has packed 48 pencils.

Where the experienced PTA parents orient the new parents, explaining everything they need to know.

Monday, September 5, 2011

Where the hippo has an unassisted breech multiples birth without so much as batting an eyelash.

Where, during "second dinner," a four year old boy asks his mother, "would you rather be stuck in a small room for hours and hours and hours with me or Moses or Abram?" and before she can answer him, the three boys start arguing so loudly and passionately about how small the room is, how many hours, and why each of them is better than the others that none of them hear her say, "I am, I already am."

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Where at Splashtown a boy trying to convince his younger brother to try, just try, just one time the slide on Pirate's Paradise asks his reluctant brother, "What's the worst part--that it's wet or cold or scary?" and the littlest brother says, angrily, "How do I know what the worst part is when I haven't even been on it yet?!"